Must Not Fall...

I stumbled drunkenly into a bathroom stall Thursday night and as I was finishing the deed, I finally noticed what was written on the wall behind me..."I Must Not Fall For Bad Boys." WTFeezy! While small, the moment felt like some kind of miracle!!! (Well, not a miracle, but a "sign" at the very least.)

After snapping this pic of the wall, I've been spending the last few days re-looking at this photo in my phone and being inspired by it. Must. Not. Fall (especially for "bad" boys).

In the past, I have "fallen" into things and situations that while I don't regeret them, if I would have used more logic, I would have been able to avoid a lot of heartbreak. Now, I don't want to "fall" anymore. I rather use both heart and logic equally to journey into something, side-by-side, as opposed to "falling" and hoping to be caught. The word "falling" doesn't sound like something good anyway! If someone called you and said only the words "I fell" you would ask if they were okay, with the assumption that they got hurt. Right? Is it bitter of me to associate "falling" with "hurt"...?

"Must Not Fall For Bad Boys." "Bad Boys" and please add "Bad (for YOU) Boys." I know all too well about those! They're not necessarily "bad" but they can be verrry bad for you. These "bad" boys for me all had one thing in common: They were extremely unavailable! Reasons being: Not over an ex or a workaholic or torn between their spiritual life and their dating life or had Mommy-issues...the list contines. These guys weren't bad, but they were bad for me. I'm at a place where I am open and available and I need to date someone who is also open and available.

I think for the most part I have always been open, but I dated so many guys who weren't because I didn't know that I was. If I heard "I'm not looking for a relationship" I thought "Great, because I'm not either!," but that's not entirely true. While I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm open to the idea of one. My openness mixed with someone else's "closedness" can only lead to one place: being hurt; and that's somewhere I have no interest in being any time soon...

Let him go and if he comes back, and back, and back...

They say: "If you love someone, let them go and if they come back blah blah blah." But what if they do come back and it doesn't mean shit!? And you let them go again...and AGAIN, they come back. And again, and again, and sigh...again.

Could this old-age phrase really be as stupid as I think? There's a limit on the "coming backs" right?

I think only girls depend on these little words of wisdom when going through a break-up. I don't know how many times I've heard "Girl, they always come back," or been asked "Do you think he's thinking about me?" I may be wrong, but I don't think guys are sitting around with their friends saying "Let her go dog, she'll come back. Ya'll are meant to be together!" o_O

The other day I was sitting and thinking that I no longer have a Mr. Big in my life and honestly, I felt some kind of way about it. I had always been used to having these long, drawn-out, back and forth relationships with guys who never seemed to stay away long. While I still have a few of those, I definitely don't feel the same way about them as I used to. Then I thought, why do I want a Mr. Big anyway!? While things worked out for Carrie in the end, it was 10 YEARS of some bullshit to get there. Do you really want to play hide-and-go-seek with a man for 10 years to finally get his love consistently? I don't.

If you love someone and you HAVE to let them go...let them stay.

*These are just my opinions, which change with growth. Who knows, some guy may make me change my mind. I doubt it though *shrugs*

Love, From A Stranger on Facebook

I get a lot of messages from guys on facebook. Most of them warrant me deleting both the message and the sender, but one day I got this...

Peace...I don't know much of anything about you but I do know that you are a prime example of why the black woman is the most beautiful creature on this planet. I've believed since the very first moment that I laid eyes on you (yes, I have been fortunate enough to witness your glow in person lol). It is because of this that I know you will find the energy that you need, via the "right people", and the water that comes to you will surely help your garden grow..Bless


P.S. "Patience is a virtue"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0coryDGOdwg

Since I recieved this note, there has been a seed planted in me that says: I'm willing to wait for someone AWESOME and who adores me, then to waste more of my time on guys who don't have the sense to know I am the shit!

If this guy whom I've never even met, can see more in me, than someone I am dating...I'm doing something wrong....

Instead of settling...Be patient!

P.S: My secret admirer (lol, that's such a funny term) is a graduate of Howard, really nice, charming guy whom I had the pleasure of meeting in person last week. He has a degree in philosophy, and everything he says to me is on the same level of depthness that was in his first note. It's so funny the way he speaks and he's killing me with flattery, but it's a good feeling being admired ;)