Get A Hobby Girl!

It's easy to be in a relationship with someone and enjoy the time you spend together so much that you want to be with them all of the time. To some of you, this may not sound like a problem, however, it's a HUGE problem. Eventually someone is going to want more time outside of the relationship and chances are it will be him. If you're a girl who values her personal time and enjoys life outside of her romantic relationship, this may be a sting, but not devastating. For those of you, who sadly, have centered your life around your significant other, tsk tsk, shame on you! Once he starts pulling away, your poor life begins to suck, you'll be a bitch and he'll spend more time away from you.


I read this excerpt from an article about a year ago and I'll never forget it..."If he's busy, he has the ability to fill his life with things that aren't you." You need to learn how to do the same.


I hate hearing stories of girls staying home all night waiting for their man to come home from the club. Or women arguing with their men for watching the game or going out with their boys. If you had a life of your own outside of your relationship, you would be more secure in your time apart and in turn more attractive to him. Instead of screaming at him to come home, make him come home because he misses you. If he spends majority of his free time without you, you need to re-elvaulate whatever relationship you think you have.


Find something to do! If you can't think of two or at least one thing you enjoy doing that doesn't involve your man, you have a serious problem on your hands. Eventually your dependency on him will be a complete downfall to your relationship. Then your next relationship will also suck because you'll be so used to being dependent on someone that you'll probably fall prematurely for the next. But hey, these are my opinions. 


I have learned that when you disappear a little, a man will seek you. Next time he wants to go out, cool, let him enjoy his night with no harassing texts from you. He calls you, don't answer, wait an hour and call back. If you want to talk to him, don't contact him, wait until he reaches out to you this time. It's not necessarily "a game", but don't be so available. Pretend to please have a life!


If you don't give your man a hard time and you do your own thing, but are still dissatisfied with the time he gives toward spending time together, chances are, he doesn't want to spend time with you!!! At this point, you should look into spending your time with someone else...permanently. I'm just saying.

Were We Meant To Be?

"Were you meant for me or are you here to help me find my way to love?"

In our dating lives, many will come and many more will go. Every person that you fall in love with will not be the person you stay in love with or they stay in love with you. Unless you're Beyonce, it may take you a time or two to get it right. All good things must come to an end. While endings are sad boots, especially when you think you really love someone, maybe they were just there to help you get to where you're going. (Btw: sad boots = very sad. I speak like a gay guy.)

I have fallen in love several times, and in each of those situations I thought the guy was THEE SHIT. Like no one would be able to tell me anything about him, because I knew in my heart and soul that he was "Superman." Just yesterday I had a conversation with my old roommate and she asked me about one of my exes. In my story-telling, she stopped me, rather rudely because she was laughing so hard at my current feelings for my ex. My feelings now are compleeeetely opposite of how I used to feel about him. Things change. Several years ago, I couldn't imagine being over him, now he's barely an afterthought (sorry dude).

In the moment of being in love or being heartbroken, it's hard to imagine that the feelings you feel for someone, aren't really meant for them. However, they may only be in your life to help you find what you really want, but just don't know yet.

Each of my (serious) relationships/situations have been an upgrade from the previous. They may not be equal or better in all areas, but overall the new guy is always somehow better than the last one. At least better for me. I take with me to the next, some new knowledge and experience that I didn't have before, so in the end, what happened before was just practice. Plus, I just love new shit! Once I'm over the old feelings, I'm over OVER it, because I'm naturally a "change is good" person. Things can only go up.

So, for the love you may not be over now, maybe he was just there to help you find your way to real love, the realest and last love you may ever have in your life. If you were given the opportunity, let's say God called you up and said "Hey girl, you have 2 options: You can have (your boo's name goes here) and the relationship you already have for the rest of your life OR you can have a relationship where you will always be happy, and respected, and loved except I can't tell you who he is yet." Who would you choose? The man who you want now or the one you don't know? The unknown is frightening, and that's actually the real cause of the heartbreak. Not knowing when, with who, and how you would be able to experience those feelings again. If you're sad, isn't the chance of future happiness kinda worth the sacrifice of the guy standing in the way of present happiness? Even if you think he will make you happy in the future, do you really want to wait and see?

Looking back, I feel like some of the times that I felt "in love" it had very little to do with actual love itself. I think it was more of an excitement/addiction/comfort blend that together made me feel strong feelings, but if I really loved them like I thought, wouldn't I still? When do we realize we're just not meant to be?