Friendship: Demotion or Promotion?

Friendship. It's funny how this one word can mean so many different things when shared between the opposite sex. "We're friends" can be a compliment, but can also be a slap in the face. A relationship can go from two people getting to know one another to being in the "friend zone" faster than you can spell it. What happens when what was once more becomes...friends? Is friendship (esp. after "love") a promotion to explore deeper waters or a demotion to Nothing-ville?

I think the bigger issue is we don't really take the time to be friends before we are lovers, so in skipping a few steps you'd eventually trip somewhere along the way. Being just friends can be reallly hard to do, especially if when you see him you just want to rip his clothes off and......(sigh) you get the point. Being friends seems like something you shouldn't do when two people like one another. Friendship is what happens when one person isn't attracted to the other. Friendship is the default relationship!!!

But, what if over time our generation just got it all wrong? Our grandfathers courted our grandmothers, our fathers dated our mothers, and we're just f-cking eachother! Can both love and lust exist in the same space?

One of my friends told me today regarding her ex-boyfriend "When you are in love with someone you can't be their friend," but love and friendship should be synonymous right? While friendship is often abused and used as an excuse especially for a guy to avoid settling down...being real friends should be celebrated. Over time serious relationships (and non-relationships) will change: there will be newness, boredom, constant sex, or no sex at all, but if there is a real friendship there it is surviving. Would you want someone to be more-than-friends with you if they really didn't want to?  I'd rather be a default friend than a default girlfriend any day!!!

In dating, especially as a girl, it's hard not to be distracted by time. "We've been dating for a year," "We broke up 3 years ago," "We've been friends for 2 months..." SOOOO WHAT LADY!!! While time can be important, it really is not THAT important. What does time really even say besides how long you have known someone? If the timing isn't right, it just isn't right. There's no shortcut, no time-machine, no handbook...just life.

Real friendship is always always a promotion. Whether it's a promotion to a deeper relationship with the one now, or a promotion to meet someone else. The only true demotion is not seeking growth in life (and love) changes.