Can You Pay My Bills?

Face it, we're in a recession, dates can be expensive but damn if I have to split the bill with you on our first date! Only a boy would do this because a grown man would never ask a woman out if he could not afford to do just that. A grown man would rather not see you for weeks if his money isn't right than to play a game of "You ordered this, I ordered that" when the check is placed on the table. C'MON SON! My meal was $15 AND you're going to penalize me for ordering Iced Tea instead of getting water with lemon?!

If you are ever in this situation, in which is bound to happen, especially if you live in New York, don't even bother arguing with the brother embarrassing yourself at Cafeteria. Pay your half and kindly never speak to his ass again.

And please please pleeease don't have sex with him after the date (or the 2nd date from not learning your lesson the first time)...honestly you should have been turned off :/