The Silver Platter

I know of a woman who is 40 years old, beautiful, has 2 children, and has been with the same man for almost 20 years. He has never married her!!! They live together and act as a family with the exception of the Big C (commitment) that is missing from their relationship. SMH! He has had many girlfriends outside of his relationship with her, yet, she considers herself to be "wifey." Sad right?

When asked why she would stay in this relationship, she replied "I would rather eat off of a silver platter, than to eat off the floor." WHAAAAAAT?!?!!?!?! Ok, so having half  (sometimes less) of what you want from a person is better than having nothing at all? This woman is the definition of settling! While she is an extreme case, we all have been guilty of accepting the 2nd place trophy. Whether you're the "side chick" or the "wifey" with no commitment: You are settling. Sometimes it's not even to another woman, but something that serves as a hindrance to your relationship because he values it way more than you. Sometimes that thing can be a career, sometimes it's his fears, or his friends; either way, you my dear are settling. The only case when you are not settling, is when you really, honestly and truly, don't want more, but as women WE ALWAYS WANT MORE. Don't play yourself: You know you do!

I am not a "I need to be in a relationship" kind of girl. I actually try to avoid commitment for as long as I can, yet I have learned through trial-and-error that I am not 100% happy in relationships where there isn't a commitment. That's so oxy-moronic, but life, especially "love" is exactly that way. It doesn't make sense, but it is a real feeling. I've been in non-committed relationships where I tried to convince myself that it was enough, but more and more I realized that it just wasn't. No one aspires to be 2nd place! No athlete says "I want to be the 2nd best player in the league!" What kind of goal is that!? It is human nature to want the top spot, so why do we accept anything that isn't?

I bet Ms. Silver Platter wanted to be a wife. I bet she wanted to feel the love she gave to him in return. I bet she wanted something real and meaningful, but somehow she got stuck being the babymother/roommate. It is easy to look at her and call her a fool, but ask yourself are YOU in the running to be a permanent 2nd-placer? Even if it's not a relationship that you are in now, but a mindset that you have that says you can be happy getting half of what you want. It may feel good for a while, but you will always always want more. So, why are you settling?